Sati’s Doubt, Rama’s Divinity, and Her Remorse
Seeing Rama in human form, Sati doubts his supreme divinity and seeks to test him. When his majesty becomes evident, she is filled with remorse.
Bal Kand · Episode 16 / 59
Episode Text
संभु समय तेहि रामहि देखा। उपजा हियँ अति हरषु बिसेषा॥ भरि लोचन छबिसिंधु निहारी। कुसमय जानि न कीन्हि चिन्हारी॥ १ ॥
Transliteration (IAST)
saṃbhu samaya tehi rāmahi dekhā। upajā hiyaṃ ati haraṣu biseṣā॥ bhari locana chabisiṃdhu nihārī। kusamaya jāni na kīnhi cinhārī॥ 1 ॥
Meaning:
Shiva saw Rama at that very moment, and great joy arose in his heart. He gazed upon that ocean of beauty with his eyes full, but, knowing it was not the proper time, he did not make himself known.
जय सच्चिदानंद जग पावन। अस कहि चलेउ मनोज नसावन॥ चले जात सिव सती समेता। पुनि पुनि पुलकत कृपानिकेता॥ २ ॥
Transliteration (IAST)
jaya saccidānanda jaga pāvana। asa kahi caleu manoja nasāvana॥ cale jāta siva satī sametā। puni puni pulakata kṛpāniketā॥ 2 ॥
Meaning:
Saying, 'Victory to the Satchidananda, purifier of the world,' he set off, destroying Cupid. Shiva, the abode of grace, and Sati walked on together, again and again thrilled with delight.
सतीं सो दसा संभु कै देखी। उर उपजा संदेहु बिसेषी॥ संकरु जगतबंद्य जगदीसा। सुर नर मुनि सब नावत सीसा॥ ३ ॥
Transliteration (IAST)
satīṃ so dasā saṃbhu kai dekhī। ura upajā sandehu biseṣī॥ saṃkaru jagatabaṃdya jagadīsā। sura nara muni saba nāvata sīsā॥ 3 ॥
Meaning:
Sati saw that condition of Shiva, and a deep doubt arose in her heart. 'Shankar is worshipped by the whole world; he is the Lord of the world. Gods, men, and sages all bow their heads to him.'
तिन्ह नृपसुतहि कीन्ह परनामा। कहि सच्चिदानंद परधामा॥ भए मगन छबि तासु बिलोकी। अजहुँ प्रीति उर रहति न रोकी॥ ४ ॥
Transliteration (IAST)
tinha nṛpasutahi kīnha paranāmā। kahi saccidānanda paradhāmā॥ bhae magana chabi tāsu bilokī। ajahūṃ prīti ura rahati na rokī॥ 4 ॥
Meaning:
They bowed to the prince and called him Satchidananda, the supreme abode. Gazing upon his beauty, they became so absorbed that even now the love in the heart cannot be restrained.
ब्रह्म जो ब्यापक बिरज अज अकल अनीह अभेद। सो कि देह धरि होइ नर जाहि न जानत बेद॥ ५० ॥
Transliteration (IAST)
brahma jo byāpaka biraja aja akala anīha abheda। so ki deha dhari hoi nara jāhi na jānata beda॥ 50 ॥
Meaning:
Brahma, who is all-pervading, free from impurity, unborn, inactive, desireless, and nondual, and whom even the Vedas do not fully know—can he take a body and become a human being?
बिष्नु जो सुर हित नरतनु धारी। सोउ सर्बग्य जथा त्रिपुरारी॥ खोजइ सो कि अग्य इव नारी। ग्यानधाम श्रीपति असुरारी॥ १ ॥
Transliteration (IAST)
biṣnu jo sura hita naratanu dhārī। so’u sarbagya jathā tripurārī॥ khojai so ki agya iva nārī। gyāndhāma śrīpati asurārī॥ 1 ॥
Meaning:
Vishnu, who for the sake of the gods has taken a human form, is also all-knowing like Tripurari. Would the Lord of knowledge, the Lord of Lakshmi, and the enemy of the demons seek a woman like an ignorant man?
संभुगिरा पुनि मृषा न होई। सिव सर्बग्य जान सबु कोई॥ अस संसय मन भयउ अपारा। होइ न हृदयँ प्रबोध प्रचारा॥ २ ॥
Transliteration (IAST)
saṃbhugirā puni mṛṣā na hoi। siva sarbagya jāna sabu koī॥ asa saṃsaya mana bhaya’u apārā। hoi na hṛdayaṃ prabodha pracārā॥ 2 ॥
Meaning:
Shiva's words cannot be false. Everyone knows that Shiva is omniscient. Such an immense doubt arose in Sati's mind that no awakening of understanding took place in her heart.
जद्यपि प्रगट न कहेउ भवानी। हर अंतरजामी सब जानी॥ सुनहि सती तव नारि सुभाऊ। संसय अस न धरिअ उर काऊ॥ ३ ॥
Transliteration (IAST)
jadyaapi pragaṭa na kaheu bhavānī। hara antarajāmī saba jānī॥ sunahi sati tava nāri subhāū। saṃsaya asa na dhari’u ura kāū॥ 3 ॥
Meaning:
Though Bhavani said nothing openly, Shiva, the Inner Witness, knew all. He said, 'Listen, Sati: that is the nature of women; such a doubt should never be held in the heart.'
जासु कथा कुंभज रिषि गाई। भगति जासु मैं मुनिहि सुनाई॥ सोइ मम इष्टदेव रघुबीरा। सेवत जाहि सदा मुनि धीरा॥ ४ ॥
Transliteration (IAST)
jāsu kathā kuṃbhaja risi gāī। bhagati jāsu maiṃ munihi sunāī॥ soi mama iṣṭadeva raghubīrā। sevata jāhi sadā muni dhīrā॥ 4 ॥
Meaning:
The story of whom the sage Kumbhaja sang, and whose devotion I narrated to the sage—that very Lord Rama is my chosen deity. The steady sages always serve him.
मुनि धीर जोगी सिद्ध संतत बिमल मन जेहि ध्यावहीं। कहि नेति निगम पुरान आगम जासु कीरति गावहीं॥ सोइ रामु ब्यापक ब्रह्म भुवन निकाय पति माया धनी। अवतरेउ अपने भगत हित निजतंत्र नित रघुकुलमनी॥
Transliteration (IAST)
muni dhīra jogī siddha santata bimala mana jehi dhyāvahīṃ। kahi neti nigama purāna āgama jāsu kīrati gāvahīṃ॥ soi rāmu byāpaka brahma bhuvana nikāya pati māyā dhanī। avatareu apane bhagata hita nijataṃtra nita raghukulamani॥
Meaning:
The steady sages, yogis, perfected beings, and saints with ever-pure minds meditate upon him. The Vedas, Puranas, and scriptures sing his glory, saying 'not this, not this.' That Rama, the all-pervading Brahman, lord of the universe, master of Maya, has descended for the good of his devotees, by his own sovereign will, O jewel of the Raghu line.
लाग न उर उपदेसु जदपि कहेउ सिवँ बार बहु। बोले बिहसि महेसु हरिमाया बलु जानि जियँ॥ ५१ ॥
Transliteration (IAST)
lāga na ura upadesu jadapi kaheu sivaṃ bāra bahu। bole bihasi mahesu harimāyā balu jāni jiyṃ॥ 51 ॥
Meaning:
Though Shiva counseled her many times, the instruction did not sink into Sati's heart. Then Mahesha smiled, knowing in his mind the power of Hari's maya.
जौं तुम्हरें मन अति संदेहू। तौ किन जाइ परीछा लेहू॥ तब लगि बैठ अहउँ बटछाहीं। जब लगि तुम्ह ऐहहु मोहि पाहीं॥ १ ॥
Transliteration (IAST)
jau tumharẽ mana ati saṃdehū। tau kina jāi parīchā lehū॥ taba lagi baiṭha ahauṃ baṭachāhīṃ। jaba lagi tumha aihahu mohi pāhīṃ॥ 1 ॥
Meaning:
If there is so much doubt in your mind, then why not go and test it? Until you return to me, I will sit here in the shade of the banyan tree.
जैसें जाइ मोह भ्रम भारी। करेहु सो जतनु बिबेक बिचारी॥ चलीं सती सिव आयसु पाई। करहिं बिचारु करौं का भाई॥ २ ॥
Transliteration (IAST)
jaisẽ jāi moha bhrama bhārī। karehu so jatanu bibeka bichārī॥ calīṃ satī siva āyasu pāī। karahiṃ bichāru kara’uṃ kā bhāī॥ 2 ॥
Meaning:
In whatever way your deep delusion may be removed, act after considering carefully and wisely. Sati went on after receiving Shiva's command and thought to herself, 'Brother! What should I do?'
इहाँ संभु अस मन अनुमाना। दच्छसुता कहुँ नहिं कल्याना॥ मोरेहु कहें न संसय जाहीं। बिधि बिपरीत भलाई नाहीं॥ ३ ॥
Transliteration (IAST)
ihāṃ saṃbhu asa mana anumānā। dachchasutā kahaṃ nahiṃ kalyānā॥ morehu kaheṃ na saṃsaya jāhīṃ। bidhi biparīta bhalaī nāhīṃ॥ 3 ॥
Meaning:
Meanwhile Shiva concluded in his mind, 'There can be no good fortune for Daksha's daughter. Even after my telling her, the doubt does not go away. Fate itself seems adverse; there is no auspiciousness now.'
होइहि सोइ जो राम रचि राखा। को करि तर्क बढ़ावै साखा॥ अस कहि लगे जपन हरिनामा। गईं सती जहँ प्रभु सुखधामा॥ ४ ॥
Transliteration (IAST)
hoihi soi jo rāma rachi rākhā। ko kari tarka baṛhāvai sākhā॥ asa kahi lage japana harināmā। gaīṃ satī jahaṃ prabhu sukhadhāmā॥ 4 ॥
Meaning:
Whatever Rama has ordained will happen. Who can argue and multiply reasons? Saying this, Shiva began chanting Hari's name, and Sati went to where the Lord, the abode of bliss, was.
पुनि पुनि हृदयँ बिचारु करि धरि सीता कर रूप। आगें होइ चलि पंथ तेहिं जेहिं आवत नरभूप॥ ५२ ॥
Transliteration (IAST)
puni puni hṛdayaṃ bichāru kari dhari sītā kara rūpa। āgeṃ hoi cali pantha tehiṃ jehiṃ āvata narabhūpa॥ 52 ॥
Meaning:
Sati, again and again reflecting in her heart, assumed Sita's form and moved ahead on the path by which, in her view, Rama, king of men, was coming.
लछिमन दीख उमाकृत बेषा। चकित भए भ्रम हृदयँ बिसेषा॥ कहि न सकत कछु अति गंभीरा। प्रभु प्रभाउ जानत मतिधीरा॥ १ ॥
Transliteration (IAST)
lachimana dīkha umākṛta beṣā। cakita bhae bhrama hṛdayaṃ biseṣā॥ kahi na sakata kacha ati gaṃbhīrā। prabhu prabhāu jānata matidhīrā॥ 1 ॥
Meaning:
Seeing Sati's disguise, Lakshmana was astonished and greatly confused in his heart. He became very grave and could say nothing. Steady-minded Lakshmana knew the power of the Lord.
सती कपटु जानेउ सुरस्वामी। सबदरसी सब अंतरजामी॥ सुमिरत जाहि मिटइ अग्याना। सोइ सरबग्य रामु भगवाना॥ २ ॥
Transliteration (IAST)
satī kapaṭu jāneu suraswāmī। sabadarasī saba antarajāmī॥ sumarita jāhi miṭai agyānā। soi sarabagya rāmu bhagavānā॥ 2 ॥
Meaning:
The Lord of the gods, the all-seeing and inner witness, knew Sati's deceit; by remembering whom ignorance is destroyed, that same all-knowing Lord Rama is the divine one.
सती कीन्ह चह तहँहुँ दुराऊ। देखहु नारि सुभाव प्रभाऊ॥ निज माया बलु हृदयँ बखानी। बोले बिहसि रामु मृदु बानी॥ ३ ॥
Transliteration (IAST)
satī kīinha caha tahaṃhū durāū। dekhahu nāri subhāva prabhāū॥ nija māyā balu hṛdayaṃ bakhānī। bole bihasi rāmu mṛdu bānī॥ 3 ॥
Meaning:
See the force of a woman's nature: Sati still wanted to conceal herself even there. Speaking in his heart of the power of his own maya, Rama smiled and spoke in a gentle voice.
जोरि पानि प्रभु कीन्ह प्रनामू। पिता समेत लीन्ह निज नामू॥ कहेउ बहोरि कहाँ बृषकेतू। बिपिन अकेलि फिरहु केहि हेतू॥ ४ ॥
Transliteration (IAST)
jori pāni prabhu kīinha pranāmū। pitā sameta līinha nija nāmū॥ khaeu bahori kahāṃ bṛṣaketu। bipina akeli phirahu kehi hetū॥ 4 ॥
Meaning:
First the Lord joined his hands and bowed, and he identified himself along with his father. Then he asked, 'Where is Lord Shiva? Why are you wandering alone in the forest?'
राम बचन मृदु गूढ़ सुनि उपजा अति संकोचु। सती सभीत महेस पहिं चलीं हृदयँ बड़ सोचु॥ ५३ ॥
Transliteration (IAST)
rāma bacana mṛdu gūḍha suni upajā ati saṃkochu। satī sabhīta mahesa pahiṃ calīṃ hṛdayaṃ baṛa socu॥ 53 ॥
Meaning:
Hearing Rama's gentle and profound words, Sati became very embarrassed. Fearful, she went on to Shiva, with great concern in her heart.
मैं संकर कर कहा न माना। निज अग्यानु राम पर आना॥ जाइ उतरु अब देहउँ काहा। उर उपजा अति दारुन दाहा॥ १ ॥
Transliteration (IAST)
maiṃ saṅkara kara kahā na mānā। nija ajñānu rāma para ānā॥ jāi utaru aba dehaum̐ kāhā। ura upajā ati dārunu dāhā॥ 1 ॥
Meaning:
—that I did not heed Shankara’s words and wrongly laid my ignorance on Rama. Now what answer shall I give to Shiva? [As she thought thus and thus,] a terrible burning arose in Sati’s heart.
जाना राम सतीं दुखु पावा। निज प्रभाउ कछु प्रगटि जनावा॥ सतीं दीख कौतुकु मग जाता। आगें रामु सहित श्री भ्राता॥ २ ॥
Transliteration (IAST)
jānā rāma satīṃ dukhu pāvā। nija prabhāu kachu pragaṭi janāvā॥ satīṃ dīkha kautuku maga jātā। āgeṃ rāmu sahita śrī bhrātā॥ 2 ॥
Meaning:
Rama understood that Sati was distressed; then He manifested some of His divine power and showed it to her. Sati, while going along the path, saw this marvel: Rama was walking ahead together with Sita and Lakshmana. [Sita was shown on this occasion so that Sati might behold Rama’s form as pure consciousness and bliss, and the imagined separation and sorrow that had arisen in her might be dispelled, restoring her to composure.]
फिरि चितवा पाछें प्रभु देखा। सहित बंधु सिय सुंदर बेषा॥ जहँ चितवहिं तहँ प्रभु आसीना। सेवहिं सिद्ध मुनीस प्रबीना॥ ३ ॥
Transliteration (IAST)
phiri chitavā pācheṃ prabhu dekhā। sahita bandhu siya sundara beṣā॥ jahaṃ chitavahiṃ tahaṃ prabhu āsīnā। sevahiṃ siddha munīsa prabīnā॥ 3 ॥
Meaning:
[Then, when she turned and looked behind, she saw there too Rama in a beautiful form together with His brother Lakshmana and Sita. Wherever she looked, there the Lord Rama was seated, and accomplished siddhas and wise sages were serving Him.
देखे सिव बिधि बिष्नु अनेका। अमित प्रभाउ एक तें एका॥ बंदत चरन करत प्रभु सेवा। बिबिध बेष देखे सब देवा॥ ४ ॥
Transliteration (IAST)
dekhe siva bidhi biṣṇu anekā। amita prabhāu eka teṃ ekā॥ bandata charana karata prabhu sevā। bibidha beṣa dekhe saba devā॥ 4 ॥
Meaning:
Sati saw many Shivas, Brahmas, and Vishnus, each one more magnificent than the last, with immeasurable power. [She also saw that] all the gods, wearing various disguises, were bowing at Rama’s feet and serving Him.
सती बिधात्री इंदिरा देखीं अमित अनूप। जेहिं जेहिं बेष अजादि सुर तेहि तेहि तन अनुरूप॥ ५४ ॥
Transliteration (IAST)
satī bidhātrī iṃdirā dekhīṃ amita anūpa। jehiṃ jehiṃ beṣa ajādi sura tehi tehi tana anurūpa॥ 54 ॥
Meaning:
She saw countless, incomparable forms of the goddesses Sati, Brahmani, and Indira (Lakshmi). In whatever form Brahma and the other gods appeared, these powers too appeared in forms suited to each of them.
देखे जहँ तहँ रघुपति जेते। सक्तिन्ह सहित सकल सुर तेते॥ जीव चराचर जो संसारा। देखे सकल अनेक प्रकारा॥ १ ॥
Transliteration (IAST)
dekhe jahaṃ tahaṃ raghupati jete। saktinha sahita sakala sura tete॥ jīva charāchara jo saṃsārā। dekhe sakala aneka prakārā॥ 1 ॥
Meaning:
Wherever Sati looked, she saw as many forms of Rama as there were, along with their powers, and she also saw all the gods there. She saw all beings, moving and unmoving, in the world in many different forms.
पूजहिं प्रभुहि देव बहु बेषा। राम रूप दूसर नहिं देखा॥ अवलोके रघुपति बहुतेरे। सीता सहित न बेष घनेरे॥ २ ॥
Transliteration (IAST)
pūjahiṃ prabhuhi deva bahu beṣā। rāma rūpa dūsara nahiṃ dekhā॥ avaloke raghupati bahutere। sītā sahita na beṣa ghanere॥ 2 ॥
Meaning:
[She saw that] the gods, wearing many disguises, were worshipping Lord Rama. Yet she did not see another form of Rama anywhere. She saw many forms of Rama together with Sita, but their disguises were not many.
सोइ रघुबर सोइ लछिमनु सीता। देखि सती अति भईं सभीता॥ हृदय कंप तन सुधि कछु नाहीं। नयन मूदि बैठीं मग माहीं॥ ३ ॥
Transliteration (IAST)
soi raghubara soi lachimanu sītā। dekhi satī ati bhaiṃ sabhītā॥ hṛdaya kaṃpa tana sudhi kachu nāhīṃ। nayana mūdi baiṭhīṃ maga māhīṃ॥ 3 ॥
Meaning:
[Everywhere] it was the same Rama, the same Lakshmana, and the same Sita. Seeing this, Sati was utterly frightened. Her heart began to tremble and she lost all bodily awareness. She sat down on the road with her eyes closed.
बहुरि बिलोकेउ नयन उघारी। कछु न दीख तहँ दच्छकुमारी॥ पुनि पुनि नाइ राम पद सीसा। चलीं तहाँ जहँ रहे गिरीसा॥ ४ ॥
Transliteration (IAST)
bahuri bilokeu nayana ughārī। kachu na dīkha tahaṃ dachchakumārī॥ puni puni nāi rāma pada sīsā। chalīṃ tahāṃ jahaṃ rahe girīsā॥ 4 ॥
Meaning:
Then she opened her eyes and looked again, but there she could see nothing of Daksha’s daughter (Sati). Then, bowing her head again and again at Rama’s feet, she went to where Shiva was.
गईं समीप महेस तब हँसि पूछी कुसलात। लीन्हि परीछा कवन बिधि कहहु सत्य सब बात॥ ५५ ॥
Transliteration (IAST)
gaīṃ samīpa mahesa taba haṃsi pūchī kusalāta। līnhi parīchā kavana bidhi kahahu satya saba bāta॥ 55 ॥
Meaning:
When she came near, Lord Shiva smiled and asked after her well-being, saying, "In what way did you test Rama? Tell the whole truth."
सतीं समुझि रघुबीर प्रभाऊ। भय बस सिव सन कीन्ह दुराऊ॥ कछु न परीछा लीन्हि गोसाईं। कीन्ह प्रनामु तुम्हारिहि नाईं॥ १ ॥
Transliteration (IAST)
satīṃ samujhi raghubīra prabhāū। bhaya basa siva san kīhna durāū॥ kachu na parīchā līnhi gosāīṃ। kīhna pranāmu tumhārihi nāīṃ॥ 1 ॥
Meaning:
Sati, understanding the power of Rama, concealed the truth from Shiva out of fear and said, "O Lord! I did not test Him at all; [when I went there] I bowed to Him just as I would to you."
जो तुम्ह कहा सो मृषा न होई। मोरें मन प्रतीति अति सोई॥ तब संकर देखेउ धरि ध्याना। सतीं जो कीन्ह चरित सबु जाना॥ २ ॥
Transliteration (IAST)
jo tumha kahā so mṛṣā na hoī। moreṃ mana pratīti ati soī॥ taba saṃkara dekheu dhari dhyānā। satīṃ jo kīnha charita sabu jānā॥ 2 ॥
Meaning:
"What you said cannot be false; in my mind this is firm and complete conviction." Then Shiva, entering meditation, saw and came to know all that Sati had done.
बहुरि राममायहि सिरु नावा। प्रेरि सतिहि जेहिं झूँठ कहावा॥ हरि इच्छा भावी बलवाना। हृदयँ बिचारत संभु सुजाना॥ ३ ॥
Transliteration (IAST)
bahuri rāmamāyahi siru nāvā। preri satihi jehiṃ jhūṃṭha kahāvā॥ hari icchā bhāvī balavānā। hṛdayaṃ bichārata sambhu sujānā॥ 3 ॥
Meaning:
Then he bowed his head to Rama’s Maya, by whose prompting even Sati’s mouth was made to speak falsehood. The wise Shiva reflected in his heart that the Lord’s will and destiny are powerful.
सतीं कीन्ह सीता कर बेषा। सिव उर भयउ बिषाद बिसेषा॥ जौं अब करउँ सती सन प्रीती। मिटइ भगति पथु होइ अनीती॥ ४ ॥
Transliteration (IAST)
satīṃ kīnha sītā kara beṣā। siva ura bhayau biṣāda biseṣā॥ jaṃu aba karaum̐ satī sana prītī। miṭai bhagati pathu hoi anītī॥ 4 ॥
Meaning:
When Shiva learned that Sati had assumed Sita’s form, great grief arose in his heart. He thought, if I now show affection to Sati, then the path of devotion is destroyed and grave injustice follows.
परम पुनीत न जाइ तजि किएँ प्रेम बड़ पापु। प्रगटि न कहत महेसु कछु हृदयँ अधिक संतापु॥ ५६ ॥
Transliteration (IAST)
parama punīta na jāi taji kieṃ prema baḍa pāpu। pragaṭi na kahata mahesu kachu hṛdayaṃ adhika santāpu॥ 56 ॥
Meaning:
Sati is supremely pure, so he cannot bear to abandon her, yet to love her is a great sin. Lord Shiva says nothing openly, but there is deep anguish in his heart.